I stepped into my spacious shower. The hot water felt great as it pounded against my flab, and I thought about a porn queen named Jada Fire. Jada is a black woman with a huge set of tits and dark nipples the size of silver dollars. Before long, I had a throbbing Woodrow. I jerked off using plenty of shampoo and conditioner for maximum comfort. I blew my load in less than five minutes. My orgasm was quite explosive. I really had a good time.
Later that morning, I talked to one of my old friends on Facebook. Facebook is illegal here on the mainland, but I have a VPN which allows me to work around the law. Anyway, my buddy's name is Dave, and he's a hapless lib-tard who is buying into all of this Russian collusion bullshit.
I said, "I can't hold it against you. Back in the day, I fell hook, line, and sinker for the lie regarding Saddam's weapons of mass destruction. It took me years to come to grips with the truth. Thousands of young innocent Americans got their nuts shot off due to that fish story, so I'm not going to judge anybody."
He said, "The only one falling for a con is you. Trump is the biggest conman of them all, and now Attorney General Bill Barr is carrying his water."
"But Bill Barr is a former toady for the Bush family. He doesn't even like Donald Trump. Do you think he'd lay his reputation on the line to protect an orange billionaire whom he despises?"
"Yes. He's an elitist. He doesn't even believe that a sitting president can be found guilty of obstruction of justice."
"But how could Orange Donald have obstructed justice if there was no collusion in the first place?"
"It's possible. He got in the way of an ongoing investigation. Plus Barr won't release the original report. All we know comes from his four-page letter."
"That's just more fake news. The report is going to be released by the middle of April--if not sooner."
"But it'll be heavily redacted."
"To protect the grand jury--which is the law."
"Something just doesn't smell right."
"Do you think Robert Mueller is in on it, too? I mean, if his words are being twisted, then why hasn't he spoken out?"
"I never said Mueller is part of the conspiracy."
Dave kept ranting and raving like a liberal madman. But I used to be a stubborn blockhead, too. I had been told so many lies by the government and the media regarding Iraq that my brain had become twisted. For instance, I had been a hundred-percent sure that Saddam was manufacturing nuclear weapons in a bunker under the desert sand, and no motherfucker on the planet was going to tell me any different.
I went shopping with my wife and son in the afternoon. We took a Didi to Sam's Club. The Dragon Lady has a strange style when it comes to purchasing groceries. She buys enough to last for an entire month--which is fine by me. I'm not putting her down. It's just that I'm no longer a spring chicken, and it's getting harder and harder to carry all that shit.
But I didn't complain. She's been packing me a delicious lunch every day comprised of bacon sandwiches and potato chips. These meals also come with a Coke. Eating good food has made me a happier man. I don't want to ruin it by pissing her off.
Later that night, we went to a restaurant and ate golden-brown Peking duck. What you do is wrap the meat with onions and sauce in a razor-thin fajita and then pop it into your mouth. Talk about delicious.
We got home at 10 p.m. I watched a film called Alien Covenant. I had seen it before, but it hadn't left much of an impression. I could barely remember a thing. Don't get me wrong. It's not a bad film; it's simply forgettable. I hope my writing isn't like that. I enjoy making an impression.
I fell asleep at midnight. I slept like the dead.