Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Gay Porn


 
 
Chapter 36

          Yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the news on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A Chinese woman wrote a novel about a high school teacher who fucks his favorite male student in the ass. Literally. It appears that gay erotica is her genre of choice. Anyway, she offered the book online, and it sold over five thousand copies. But here’s the problem. The Chinese government hates pornography. Consequently, this author will now spend the next ten years of her life in a prison cell. I kid you not.

          Headlines like this make me cringe. I’m also a writer who sells his work online. Am I a filthy pornographer? And who makes that call? However, I’m not too worried. Throwing a guy like me in jail would cause lots of international headaches. The worst that Big Brother will do is deport my ass back to South Korea.

          I stepped into my spacious shower. The hot water felt wonderful as it pounded against my flab. I briefly thought about rubbing one out, but I couldn’t get it up. That story concerning the writer affected my libido in an adverse fashion.

          I dried off using one of my wife’s tiny towels. Then I walked downstairs and ate breakfast with Rice-Boy Larry. I had a bowl of oatmeal and granola. It tasted great.

          I made fun of Larry’s report card. He ended up making a C in PE.

          I said, “I know guys in wheelchairs who can do better than that.”

          He said, “What can I say? I just hate sports.”

          “I don’t blame you. I’m no athlete, either.”

          I walked to work with my son. I talked to a co-worker along the way. This guy teaches chemistry.

          He said, “Me and my wife are having Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. We’re inviting a ton of people. Why don’t you come?”

          “No thanks. My wife has a dental appointment at that time.”

          And this is true. She’s off to see Dr. Sexy to have her teeth cleaned. But I have no interest in celebrating American holidays. It only leaves me feeling hollow and lonely. I’m simply not one of those motherfuckers who enjoys looking back wistfully on bygone years. I’m like a shark. I prefer to swim in a forward direction.

          We had a morning meeting. It was about punishment. We aren’t allowed to force the children do pushups or run laps. These types of disciplinary measures are supposedly outlawed by the Chinese government.

          This information made me think about the poor woman sitting in jail for writing gay porn. Where’s the compassion for her? My former boss, Mr. Lipps, also came to mind. He loved torturing the children. He often made them exercise until they puked. No kidding. Well, Lipps wouldn’t be tolerated on the mainland. He’d be occupying the cell next to little Miss Ass-Fuck.

          I called Ken the Chicken Man using WeChat.

          I said, “How’s life at work?”

          “It’s going OK.”

          “Are they treating you right with the schedule?”

          “Yep.”

          “Granny told me that you went out with your friends yesterday.”

          “We saw a movie.”

          “Which one?”

          The Grinch. We wanted to watch Overlord, but my buddy left his ID at home. It’s R-rated, so they wouldn’t let us in.”

          “I can’t believe how old you are. Time flies.”

          “Not for me. I’m still young.”

          Later in the day, I attended a meeting about academic stuff. But here’s the sad truth. I no longer enjoy being in a leadership position. I’d rather just be an average run-of-the-mill teacher. It’s pretty much the same money with less headaches.

8 comments:

  1. this 'blog has gone to hellina ham basket again.

    people come here for the lesson plans and the prayer on bended knee and for the scriptural exegetics.

    but there wasn't none of the stuff that pushes book sales in terms of see above op cit.

    there wasn't even the dream where yaway says stuff to the beast, in terms of the revelations of the heavenly of the heavens which can be found in the book of the Actions and chapter 18, where it goes like:

    spaketh then the almighty unto Paulius in the dark of night by means of an vision, going "be ye not then affeared, yet speaketh thou and holdeth not thine peace of silence. For I am with thee and no man shall set upon thee to hurteth thee, for I haveth mucho peoples in yon city", and also many cattle, amen and amen.

    so that is what bringeth the readers unto this 'blog and causes the outpouring of gifts to the patreon and the purchase of the filthybook for stocking stuffers to the children of the faith.

    on the day of thanksgiving the people bow their heads to remember the company of merchant adventurers of london
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Company_of_Merchant_Adventurers_of_London
    in terms of how they represented the interests of investors and of the pope
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discovery_doctrine
    so that the godly people who speak spanish could migrate into the continent of the godless newworlders and taketh their lands.

    it worked in the 1500s and it still is in effect to-day, amen and amen.

    let us therefore giveth thanks unto the investors of the merchant adventurers who discovered the uninhabited continent of the new world and who continue still in said enterprise.

    discoveries in the highest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have always been an awesome proof-reader. If you see any problems, could you give me the heads up?

      Delete
    2. "thou hast been an reader, proofed in the brine of awe; were thou to seeest any defect upon the body of the scroll, wouldst that thou wouldst giveth unto me thine notice of the matter for unto the alertness of the head, amen and amen"

      as per always, 'bloggeth upon the highest hightths

      Delete
  2. There is a tide in the affairs of men.
    Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
    Omitted, all the voyage of their life
    Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
    On such a full sea are we now afloat,
    And we must take the current when it serves,
    Or lose our ventures.
    Julius Caesar Act 4, scene 3, 218–224

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I liked Marlon Brando as Mark Antony.

      Delete
    2. rock on, sovelly solly.

      p.s. it reads like an alternative pronunciation of "so very sorry". weird.

      p.p.s. ride the tide, amen.

      Delete