Yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the news on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. Chinese tourists in India were arrested by the police. They got nabbed wearing jackets made from the fur and skin of endangered animals. The penalty for this crime is actually pretty stiff. They could spend the next seven years locked in a prison cell.
I stepped into my spacious shower. The hot water felt great as it blasted against my blubber, and I briefly thought about beating my meat. But I was simply too tired. I’ve been exhausted lately. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the pressure at work. I hope I don’t have cancer.
I walked downstairs and called Ken the Chicken Man using WeChat.
He said, “Chick-Fil-A is still screwing me.”
I said, “What happened?”
“They’ve got me pulling thirty hours a week. I already told them I can’t juggle that schedule with school.”
“Were you polite?”
“Yes! I did exactly like you said. According to you, the manager would be eating out of the palm of my hand by now. Instead, I keep getting ass raped.”
“I tell you what. Try one more time. Be firm. Twenty hours a week is your limit. If they refuse to cooperate, then quit and find another gig.”
I walked to work with Rice-Boy Larry. The weather has cooled down significantly, so the journey was pleasant. I got to my classroom at 7:30. We had a morning meeting, but I can’t remember a word that my boss actually said. I just smiled and nodded like the village retard. I’m wonderful that way.
My day sucked. Lately, I’ve been having problems with the students. This all stems back to when the principal let the little rich boy off the hook. Teenagers can sense weakness, and I’m now a wounded animal.
We’re currently reading a short story about racism. And it’s actually pretty good. It’s about a little Puerto Rican child who has a crush on a white boy.
One girl said, “Asians are the smartest people in the world. We are certainly the best at math. It’s been scientifically proven.”
I jokingly said, “You’re a racist. Never say that stuff if you visit the United States.”
But she gave me an attitude. “Don’t call me a racist. I don’t like it when you tease me.”
I nodded my head. “Fine.”
The last thing I want her to do is report me to the powers that be. And, in a strange way, she’s right. Only white men and republican women are racist. Everyone else is free to feel racially superior. That’s just the way it goes. So why even argue?
Besides, what’s it to me? If she wants to believe that Asians are the top of the food chain, then good for her. I have other fish to fry.
I got home at 5 p.m. We had barbeque pork and Chinese mushrooms for dinner. The meal was quite good. My wife is an excellent cook when she puts her mind to it.
After that, I watched Monday Night Football. The Giants played the Atlanta Falcons. Eli Manning is taking a lot of heat. People think that he’s lost his touch. But it’s tough to tell. His offensive line is downright atrocious.
I went to bed at 9 p.m. I slept like the dead.