Yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the news on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A man from Shandong owned a forklift company. He suddenly went crazy and began attacking cars on the freeway with one of his larger machines. He actually killed one unfortunate person during his short-lived rampage.
Anyway, the police were soon called to the scene. They surrounded this maniac and demanded that he surrender. He refused, plowing into another automobile and sending it over a guardrail. So the cops removed their pistols and shot him dead on the spot. And rightly so. What else could they do?
I jerked off in the shower using plenty of shampoo. I thought about a large-chested Chinese colleague while doing the deed. Even though she has big tits, this particular lady stands under five-feet tall. She’s the type of woman that you can throw around in bed. Yummy. My orgasm was quite explosive. It felt wonderful.
I walked downstairs. The Dragon Lady had already cooked breakfast, preparing eggs, toast, and chicken for the morning meal. It was resting on the kitchen table. It tasted damn good.
I said, “When we buy an apartment, I want my name on the bill of sale.”
She said, “You da fucken idiot. You think you da king?”
“Then don’t buy anything. Just keep the money in the bank in both our names.”
“How can we get roan for da house? We rive in China. My fadda must get da roan.”
“Why do we need a loan? We can buy a small dump in a shithole like Nonsan using cash.”
“I not want to rive in Nonsan. It not exciting city”
“We aren’t going to live there. We’re just going to rent the place.”
“You need to shut da mouth. You da stoopid man.”
I walked to school with Rice-Boy Larry. The weather was oppressive to say the least. First, it was hotter than hell even though it was early in the morning. Secondly, the pollution was burning my eyes like an intense dirty laser. But it’s China, so there’s no point in bitching.
I got to my room at 7:30 a.m. and started stapling my final exams. One of my tenth graders showed up unexpectedly. Her name is Victoria, and she recently got nabbed for skipping P.E. class.
She said, “My dad is coming in to take pictures. He’ll be here all day. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”
I said, “Of course not. He’s welcome here anytime he wants to come.”
Victoria’s dad is a Chinese multi-millionaire, so I do my best to kiss his ass. With that said, he’s always struck me as a nice-enough guy.
He followed his daughter to Chinese class and spent fifteen minutes snapping photos. He has an expensive Cannon digital camera. Then he followed her to Math class and snapped more photos.
Here’s the weird part. Victoria had an afternoon detention with four other girls. And I’m the taskmaster who runs the detention hall. Dad sat with her while she was being punished, and he refused to keep his fucking mouth shut the entire time he was there. He talked with all the teenie-bopper criminals as if he were the leader of the gang.
I got angry because the naughty girls started following his lead. They chatted and laughed like they were having the time of their lives. I wanted to tell them all to shut the fuck up—including this crazy father. But the act just didn’t seem wise. So I split the difference. I decided to end the detentions early before I blew a gasket.
I’m the high school’s head teacher, which is no easy fucking task. And my colleagues witnessed my behavior toward the man. They good-naturedly accused me of being a wuss.
The math teacher said, “I would have thrown him out.”
And the science teacher added, “I wouldn’t have tossed him, but I definitely would have spoken to him firmly.”
But I have no regrets. China is a face culture, and the last thing you want to do is embarrass a rich guy in front of a bunch of teenagers. I think I played this awkward situation perfectly. That’s why they pay me the big bucks.