Monday, December 17, 2018

Horny Old Linda


 
 
Chapter 49

          In the spring of 1997, Linda and Chung were becoming quite an item. One night, she invited me to join them on a date. It was scheduled to take place on a school night. I expressed my concerns to the horny old lady.

          She said, “What are you? Twelve? So what if you have work the next morning? You’re a young man. You can power through.”

          “Why do you even need me?”

          “Chung’s English isn’t that great, and it’s nice to have a wing-man by my side.”

          “Has he forgiven me for calling him a son of a bitch?”

          Linda nodded her head. “Of course he’s forgiven you. That’s yesterday’s news. He likes you.”

          “Can I ask Bob and Greg to tag along?”

          “Sure. The more the merrier, but they got to buy their own drinks. Those two are a couple of cheapskates.”

          I took a short walk over to the ghetto. I asked Bob first.

          “Hey, Linda is going out with her Korean boy toy tonight, and she wants us to tag along.”

          Bob said, “Where does Chung get all the money to buy so much booze?”

          “Actually, she wants you to purchase your own alcohol.”

          A sour look suddenly crossed his pale freckled face. “Screw that noise. I’m not buying shit. I’m the one doing her the favor. That dude can’t speak a word of English. It ain’t my job to entertain the stuttering fuck.”

          Greg decided to stay home, too. He was suffering from a minor cold.

          Looking back on it, I should have kept my ass in the office building. Being a third wheel is bullshit. But I was quite the drunkard in those days. And, when it came to booze, the word no simply wasn’t in my vocabulary.

          For a rich man with a lot of cash, Chung didn’t have a car. We caught a bus to downtown Daejeon. We ended up at a nightclub somewhere near the center of the city.

          Chung ordered a shitload of beer. He also had a bottle of Scotch delivered to our table. I threw back the hooch as if I were a thirsty cowboy who had just come in from the trail. And, to be quite honest, my memory is a tad hazy about the evening. But I will do my best to piece together the events of the night.

          I kept breaking the glasses at the club. This wasn’t due to vandalism, but rather drunken clumsiness.

          Linda got pissed. “Fucking control yourself. You’re acting like an infant.”

          After we left, Chung and I drank several bottles of soju in front of a convenience store. Linda wasn’t pleased. She kept shooting me the stink eye.

          Her Korean lover eventually took off, stranding us in the middle of town. Luckily, I had picked up enough of the language so that we could find our way back to our humble abode. We lived next to a shop that sold expensive fur jackets. It was called Jindo Mopee.

          Even in my drunken state, I managed to hail a taxi. Then I said this: “Jindo Mopee car chooseo.” Those words simply mean, “Please drive me to the fur shop.”

          Old Linda started kissing me as the taxi sped toward our destination. She even let me touch her tits and pussy.

          She said, “Screw Chung. I can’t believe he left us there. Let’s go home and fuck.”

          “Sounds good to me.”

          But things changed as we approached her bedroom door. She started sobbing uncontrollably. Snot was leaking out her nose, and she even began drooling.

          She said, “I just can’t.”

          And then she closed the door behind her.

          That’s where I should have left it. However, I truly felt bad for the woman. Her heart was breaking right in front of my eyes. I suddenly had the urge to tell Linda that everything would be all right and give her a brotherly hug. Make no mistake. My feelings weren’t sexual. After all, her face was a mask of mucus and spittle, so the idea of fucking her was no longer a turn on.

          I walked uninvited into her private space. Big mistake. She started screaming at the top of her lungs.

          “Get the fuck out of here! Get the fuck out of here! You don’t belong in here! Get the fuck out! Get out! Get out! Get out!”

          It was nearly three in the morning, and she woke everybody up. Roger approached me with a baseball bat in his hands.

          I said, “What the fuck is your problem? Are you planning to hit me with that?”

          He said, “Go back to your own side of the office. I don’t want any trouble.”

          “Then relax and let me pass.”

          Even Greg got in on the action.

          He said, “Dude, when a woman says no, she means no.”

          I shook my head. “What the fuck are you talking about? You think I tried to rape her?”

          He shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. I don’t know you, and I don’t know her.”

          I went to my room feeling like a pervert. I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

6 comments:

  1. sounds like a perfect date. hard to beleive chung was willing to give that up for a night.

    "minster" --> "minister"

    https://www.wattpad.com/617266902-filthy-beast-the-diary-of-an-english-teacher-in

    here is the children of shanghai with "chrismas in the pines"

    enjoy

    twas on this very happy morn
    the king melchizedek was born

    as salem's priest of the I Am,
    superior to abraham

    hulee hulee hulee hullah

    hulee hulee hulay

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  2. Society should have had mercy on everyone and shaved Linda's head and sent her to a convent for the rest of her life. No sense in letting a wacky old cock tease with no intention of having kids roam the streets. Look at all the chaos she caused in that rural Korean Outpost...

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  3. My first love was Cathy Toscano, a pert little soccer cheerleader with milky white skin. Cathy was 2 years older than me, and was a junior while I was a freshman in high school.

    Like all kids feeling out their sexual limits we regularly goofed about what is referred to today as “butt sex.” Like most people in the 80s we referred to it, and its practitioners it in a derisive way, generally laughing that it was for gays and weirdos.

    But one day it was no laughing matter for Cathy.

    We were squirreled away in a laundry closet at a friend’s apartment, and were having intercourse standing up with me behind her.

    I had been reading penthouse and Xaveria Hollander about the best way to initiate anal sex, and I decided to begin rubbing my boner against Cathy’s brown eye. She didn’t say a word, and stood frozen as I broke through the ice and began slowly working the head up her tight little butthole. After some slow movements to and fro she asked me if I knew “where I as” and I said “Yes”. I then proceeded to inch deeper and deeper into my little 16 year old girlfriend’s asshole. After about 5 minutes of this slow back and forth I couldn’t hold out any longer and ejaculated a ridiculously large amount of sperm up her butt. I was totally spent. It was truly one of the most magnificent orgasms of my life.

    After a few minutes my now soft penis plopped out of her butthole and she turned and grabbed my arms with tears in her eyes and said “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” I kissed her softly, and promised her I wouldn’t, and when I got home I noticed there were a few drops of Cathy’s blood on my underpants.

    To show you the unpredictable and fickle nature of women, about a
    week later we were lying around naked, and she innocently asked me if I wanted to ride her “Hershey highway” again. Of course I said yes, and after a while Cathy became a regular Summer Rose, gaping her asshole at me and asking me to cum deep in her ass. Whew lads!

    I looked old Cathy up the other day and saw that she was now a successful professional. I couldn’t help but wonder if she still enjoyed taking it up the butt in strange places.

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